Ug. Ugggg!
If you’ve been at the U lately, and you saw all the fliers about the new “safety assurances” on campus this fall, and if you then didn’t tell me—
Thank you for letting me at least enjoy my summer.
For those of you who, like me, have been living under a rock all summer (I’ve been at the MMA 40 hours a week and taking three online courses—what’s your excuse?), apparently we’re having a half dozen boys in tights to help, ahem, “improve” campus security.
This is such BS. If I had wanted to go to school somewhere where freaks in capes swooped down at every mugging or jaywalking, I would have said yes to NYU and asked Granddad to pull some strings and get me in a part-time job at Christy’s or something.
Here’s some of the info, in case you were curious.
None of the protectors in the new security plan wanted to say much about their particular talents, citing a desire to keep the criminal element in the dark. They have all provided proof, however, of proper registration with the National Super Commission, with full marks on all required ethical standard examinations.
They were willing to state that four of the six of them are Minnesota born and bred, with the other two also haling from the Midwest. All six were already associated with the U of M before taking on this new assignment, whether it be as faculty, alumni or current students.
So this September, keep your eyes open for our new protectors—and don’t be afraid to say “hi!”
There goes the neighborhood.
7 comments
chelseamorning: :-( but even if it weren’t for ny’s problems with the supers, you wouldn’t have gone back there. not unless you got a legal name change first.
babblingbrook: When I sent the applications to NYU I did a pretty good job of making sure that my full first name showed up NOWHERE. (Which, btw, in no way exonerates Mom from agreeing to the dumbest baby name on the UES. And don’t try to steal my thunder. No one ever hears your name and automatically assumes you’re named for a place.)chelseamorning: they do, as soon as they hear that my sister’s name is brooklyn, thank you very much. but good call, staying in a part of the country where people think it’s cool instead of pathetic.babblingbrook: At least I’m a borough of talented artists and not some overpriced pretentious neighborhood.chelseamorning: yeah, but i have better restaurants.babblingbrook: Touché. You must be feeling better. You’re sounding more like yourself than you have all this week.
iRant: This is because of the Fireshield Siege? C’mon Brook, no good Midwestern super is going to turn rogue and try to take over Minneapolis. Not a chance. Even if they could get past their Minnesota-nice programming, the NSC raised their standards so high after the FS that that if Barack Obama woke up tomorrow with laser vision even he would have to go through the same six months of tests and evaluations that every super has to take before they’re registered. The process is rock solid. And all these guys are registered, so there’s nothing to worry about.babblingbrook: How’s that Kool-Aid taste, Ira?(Click to view what else Brook has been writing.)
